"One of those days, I'm gonna convert."
"You again!" The bus driver said.
I don't know how likely this is* but the same bus driver picked me up twice in the same day. It was about a week ago, I enjoyed this encounter so much I've been thinking about writing about it since, but I didn't do it because I want it to be good and I am not sure it will be. Now my fear to forget it trumps my fear of inadequacy.
I love the number 31 bus, it takes you many places and the station is right there by my previous (current at that time) apartment. I was going to pick up my keys for my current (future) place, it was a long way. I waited for the bus reading my book, it was a pretty hot day. It is strange, this kind of weather, the temperature would be much lower than what I would consider a "hot summer day", but it is like the rays penetrate my skin somehow, it burns, anyway I got on the bus. The bus driver, like most bus drivers around here, was friendly, greeted me with a nice smile. I got in the back seat.
My excitement after getting my keys decreased gradually, having to wait a long time for a bus to come pick me up. I continued reading in the shade of some tiny tree, the best I can find. The bus finally came, the same bus that dropped me off.
"You again?" The bus driver said. I laughed. "Always reading your book." "yeah" I said laughingly as I swiped my BuckID**. "What book are you reading?" He said, looking at the cover of the book. "Umm it is about religion." I replied, not sure how much elaboration is appropriate.
"What religion?"
"Islam"
"Oh, Izlam! you are a muzlim?"
I got him interested.
"Yeah"
"I want to convert!"
Now he got me interested. I was surprised, and I felt so much irony then because, the book I was reading "The Trouble with Islam Today" isn't exactly praising the muslim community, pretty much doing the opposite. It is not denouncing the religion itself, but let's say I didn't want him to ask me about the book now. The way this conversation was going, I felt it would alter the trajectory.
He didn't ask.
"Oh really? So what makes you want to convert?"
"I'll tell you. I worked in tax office, and my colleagues, they were muzlim, they were always praying, praying all day, and they were so happy! Those guys, I never saw them angry. And you know why? I think it is the prayer. Prayer makes you happy. And I always tell these guys, one of those days, I am gonna convert."
"Yeah, definitely, prayer is good." I say, I smile and I hesitate to add, but I do.
"But you can always pray, I mean, in any religion, connection with god and being spiritual definitely makes you happy."
It is not my intention to make him rethink his decision to "one day convert", but it is also not my intention to not do that, I had no plan but I was curious, selfishly curious.
"But these guys, they're different." He says with confidence.
I think how many muslims are angry and sad, and nothing like these guys, and it probably has nothing to do with religion. I am glad he got to see some of the calm happy ones, I am happy about his impression.
"Oh I see. So have you read the Quran, the book?" I ask
"I have two copies at home."
"nice!"
"One was a present from a woman that lived in Morroco, and another from a man who lived in Sudan."
"Oh that is nice, so did you read it?" I am really interested, you can tell. I want to know if there is any exposure to this religion other than "the happy guys.". I also wanted to know the opinion of someone who approached the Quran with the intention of exploration, not with the intention of scoring up metaphorical points on the road to heaven.
"They are in Arabic."
He didn't. As I will learn later, he is from Haiti, and French is his native language, I could've guessed from his accent but honestly, his words took all my attention.
"Ohh I see, well if you want, you can read the English translation. The book is originally in Arabic so translations are imperfect but you can always ask someone who has knowledge."
"yeah"
We wrap this conversation up, I encourage him to explore, we express how glad we are to have had it, and I find a seat, smile, take a moment and open the book again.
"Sorry to interrupt." He interrupts, but I don't care, I want to talk more. I go up to him.
"I have a question." He says. "I hope I'll be able to answer." I genuinely do, I get a bit nervous, knowing he'll ask about islam related stuff.
"What is the difference between the woman who covers her face, the woman who covers her hair, and the woman who does not cover."
I didn't tell him about the candy metaphor, honestly I didn't think of this joke then, I wanted to seriously answer, and it was difficult. I mean, who am I? I'm a blob of conflicts and confusion when it comes to most things, including and specifically religion.
There are harder questions though. I start.
"Well, there is a verse in the Quran where most scholars interpret as an obligation for women to cover themselves, their hair with the rest of their bodies. Fewer people say it also means to cover the face that is the extremely conservative version."
"Like in Afghanistan. Everything is covered you don't see anything except the eyes." he interrupts.
"yeah"
"So do women have to? Because if I get a wife, I wouldn't want her to cover." He laughs.
"Well it doesn't take you out of the religion, many women choose not to cover their hair. People just regard it as a thing that should be done, but she can choose."
I realize I am not bringing out very well-formed sentences, and I am bringing up "people" a lot, if he analyzes my sentences, he would discover that I don't know what god wants, but I definitely know what people think god wants. He doesn't care about that though, he is clear about his question.
"because you know, I just feel, for security reasons, it is good to see, you know."
Obviously, that is so important to him, I am not sure if he meant to see her face or to see more than that. I don't stay on that point for long, I felt I can't imply that his wife should be obediant whatever he prefers because this is not how it should work. We're also talking in the framework of religion so I just take myself out of it.
"My opinion is you shouldn't force her not to wear it, and you shouldn't force to wear it. But that's just me, I am not speaking what religion tells you to do."
"yeah, shouldn't force." He agrees. The world makes sense to me.
We don't wrap it up for the second time. We keep talking about immigration, powerful passports to have and which countries have good health insurance. I reach my station and we say our goodbyes.
_______________________________________________________________________________
This conversation was long and I forgot most of it. Next time I'll spend less time questioning my competency, but I don't promise. This happened a week ago, meaning that my memories had a week to rearrange and manipulate themselves in my mind. Everything said above is true to my current memories which are fallible. I even forgot his name, which is sad because I remember it was a very nice French name.
*I know a couple of people who would love to do the maths.
** University ID. They call OSU students Buckeyes because Buckeye trees are all over campus. And the ID, BuckID.
Edit:
I woke up in the middle of the night remembering other things, so I'm going to add them here. The brain really is impressive.
He said that the thing he likes most about Islam is that the Quran never changes. It is always the same. I nodded then, I said "that is true, it never changes.". Still, that was interesting to me. I mean, he never read it before, isn't it only a good thing that it never changes if you like all parts of it? (I know what you "like" in a holy book is irrelevant, once you establish that it is holy in its entirety, but he is not conditioned to take it all or leave it all. I agree that the fact that it never changes gives it a more divine feel.
I remember I told him I wore the headscarf at some point, and I took it off, and it is fine. I remember trying to convey that it still is a choice, but I didn't want to convey that this choice doesn't matter at all because the mainstream teachings of the religion, which are still based on human interpretations, say it matters.
I think I remember his name.
I don't know how likely this is* but the same bus driver picked me up twice in the same day. It was about a week ago, I enjoyed this encounter so much I've been thinking about writing about it since, but I didn't do it because I want it to be good and I am not sure it will be. Now my fear to forget it trumps my fear of inadequacy.
I love the number 31 bus, it takes you many places and the station is right there by my previous (current at that time) apartment. I was going to pick up my keys for my current (future) place, it was a long way. I waited for the bus reading my book, it was a pretty hot day. It is strange, this kind of weather, the temperature would be much lower than what I would consider a "hot summer day", but it is like the rays penetrate my skin somehow, it burns, anyway I got on the bus. The bus driver, like most bus drivers around here, was friendly, greeted me with a nice smile. I got in the back seat.
My excitement after getting my keys decreased gradually, having to wait a long time for a bus to come pick me up. I continued reading in the shade of some tiny tree, the best I can find. The bus finally came, the same bus that dropped me off.
"You again?" The bus driver said. I laughed. "Always reading your book." "yeah" I said laughingly as I swiped my BuckID**. "What book are you reading?" He said, looking at the cover of the book. "Umm it is about religion." I replied, not sure how much elaboration is appropriate.
"What religion?"
"Islam"
"Oh, Izlam! you are a muzlim?"
I got him interested.
"Yeah"
"I want to convert!"
Now he got me interested. I was surprised, and I felt so much irony then because, the book I was reading "The Trouble with Islam Today" isn't exactly praising the muslim community, pretty much doing the opposite. It is not denouncing the religion itself, but let's say I didn't want him to ask me about the book now. The way this conversation was going, I felt it would alter the trajectory.
He didn't ask.
"Oh really? So what makes you want to convert?"
"I'll tell you. I worked in tax office, and my colleagues, they were muzlim, they were always praying, praying all day, and they were so happy! Those guys, I never saw them angry. And you know why? I think it is the prayer. Prayer makes you happy. And I always tell these guys, one of those days, I am gonna convert."
"Yeah, definitely, prayer is good." I say, I smile and I hesitate to add, but I do.
"But you can always pray, I mean, in any religion, connection with god and being spiritual definitely makes you happy."
It is not my intention to make him rethink his decision to "one day convert", but it is also not my intention to not do that, I had no plan but I was curious, selfishly curious.
"But these guys, they're different." He says with confidence.
I think how many muslims are angry and sad, and nothing like these guys, and it probably has nothing to do with religion. I am glad he got to see some of the calm happy ones, I am happy about his impression.
"Oh I see. So have you read the Quran, the book?" I ask
"I have two copies at home."
"nice!"
"One was a present from a woman that lived in Morroco, and another from a man who lived in Sudan."
"Oh that is nice, so did you read it?" I am really interested, you can tell. I want to know if there is any exposure to this religion other than "the happy guys.". I also wanted to know the opinion of someone who approached the Quran with the intention of exploration, not with the intention of scoring up metaphorical points on the road to heaven.
"They are in Arabic."
He didn't. As I will learn later, he is from Haiti, and French is his native language, I could've guessed from his accent but honestly, his words took all my attention.
"Ohh I see, well if you want, you can read the English translation. The book is originally in Arabic so translations are imperfect but you can always ask someone who has knowledge."
"yeah"
We wrap this conversation up, I encourage him to explore, we express how glad we are to have had it, and I find a seat, smile, take a moment and open the book again.
"Sorry to interrupt." He interrupts, but I don't care, I want to talk more. I go up to him.
"I have a question." He says. "I hope I'll be able to answer." I genuinely do, I get a bit nervous, knowing he'll ask about islam related stuff.
"What is the difference between the woman who covers her face, the woman who covers her hair, and the woman who does not cover."
I didn't tell him about the candy metaphor, honestly I didn't think of this joke then, I wanted to seriously answer, and it was difficult. I mean, who am I? I'm a blob of conflicts and confusion when it comes to most things, including and specifically religion.
There are harder questions though. I start.
"Well, there is a verse in the Quran where most scholars interpret as an obligation for women to cover themselves, their hair with the rest of their bodies. Fewer people say it also means to cover the face that is the extremely conservative version."
"Like in Afghanistan. Everything is covered you don't see anything except the eyes." he interrupts.
"yeah"
"So do women have to? Because if I get a wife, I wouldn't want her to cover." He laughs.
"Well it doesn't take you out of the religion, many women choose not to cover their hair. People just regard it as a thing that should be done, but she can choose."
I realize I am not bringing out very well-formed sentences, and I am bringing up "people" a lot, if he analyzes my sentences, he would discover that I don't know what god wants, but I definitely know what people think god wants. He doesn't care about that though, he is clear about his question.
"because you know, I just feel, for security reasons, it is good to see, you know."
Obviously, that is so important to him, I am not sure if he meant to see her face or to see more than that. I don't stay on that point for long, I felt I can't imply that his wife should be obediant whatever he prefers because this is not how it should work. We're also talking in the framework of religion so I just take myself out of it.
"My opinion is you shouldn't force her not to wear it, and you shouldn't force to wear it. But that's just me, I am not speaking what religion tells you to do."
"yeah, shouldn't force." He agrees. The world makes sense to me.
We don't wrap it up for the second time. We keep talking about immigration, powerful passports to have and which countries have good health insurance. I reach my station and we say our goodbyes.
_______________________________________________________________________________
This conversation was long and I forgot most of it. Next time I'll spend less time questioning my competency, but I don't promise. This happened a week ago, meaning that my memories had a week to rearrange and manipulate themselves in my mind. Everything said above is true to my current memories which are fallible. I even forgot his name, which is sad because I remember it was a very nice French name.
*I know a couple of people who would love to do the maths.
** University ID. They call OSU students Buckeyes because Buckeye trees are all over campus. And the ID, BuckID.
Edit:
I woke up in the middle of the night remembering other things, so I'm going to add them here. The brain really is impressive.
He said that the thing he likes most about Islam is that the Quran never changes. It is always the same. I nodded then, I said "that is true, it never changes.". Still, that was interesting to me. I mean, he never read it before, isn't it only a good thing that it never changes if you like all parts of it? (I know what you "like" in a holy book is irrelevant, once you establish that it is holy in its entirety, but he is not conditioned to take it all or leave it all. I agree that the fact that it never changes gives it a more divine feel.
I remember I told him I wore the headscarf at some point, and I took it off, and it is fine. I remember trying to convey that it still is a choice, but I didn't want to convey that this choice doesn't matter at all because the mainstream teachings of the religion, which are still based on human interpretations, say it matters.
I think I remember his name.
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